Well, I tried to write what was in my heart, but those muddled thoughts and feelings
are now scrambled and unfinished on a draft page. Goodness, sometimes I have a hard time making sense of them all.
But since they couldn't come out eloquently, I just want to
talk to you non-eloquently in stead. Because I see you all as friends, and I miss talking. To start off the non-eloquence, I'm pretty sure that non-eloquence is grammatically incorrect. I just remembered. It's
ineloquent.
So how's life, friend?
Good?
And if you didn't mean that, I'd love to know the truth. There are no masks here.
Speaking of masks, I've been thinking how I want to be a little more authentic with you all. I haven't been putting up a facade or lying to you, no, but I just mostly post about happy things, joyful things, good things. And sometimes it even sounds like I preach at you. (sorry for that… maybe it's the pastor's -kid side of me.) But please know this: my life isn't perfect. I focus on the good things because I want my blog to be a blessing and a celebration of the good. And generally my journal is the best place for my struggles, considering that the whole world can see this. But just because I celebrate life here, it doesn't mean that I don't have those days too. The emotionally out-of-whack days when I almost cry over spilt milk. Or the go-away-from-me-please-I-just-want-to-be-
alone days. (<< I have a lot of those.) And the days when I skip reading my Bible because I've got "more important" things to do. Days when I'm discontent with my photography. The bad hair days. The bad face days. Days wasted by judging. Days ruined by harsh words and harbored bitterness.
Yes, I have them all.
But the only reason I can celebrate through it all is because God is good. And faithful. And powerful.
So, what do you like to do in your free time? When no one is in the house?
Sometimes I tap dance in the garage and imagine that I could be as good as Rita Hayworth and Fred Astaire. And then I dream about dancing in the kitchen with a mister eight or ten or fifteen years from now. When no one is home I play piano really loudly and sometimes I sing until I can't stand to hear my crackling voice any longer, which is usually two minutes. Last week everyone was gone and Mumford & Sons started on Spotify… I ran to the computer and turned the volume up until it couldn't go any higher. And then I ran around and danced like a crazy five-year-old. And all of a sudden I was carefree. (I kind of tweaked some muscles :))
I could ask you a million questions, friends. I know some of you very well, and others hardly at all, but I would love to get to know you a little better. Drop a comment, would ya? Tell me what you do in your free time and when no one is around, and what the most exciting thing you did today was. Or what your favorite childhood memory is, or what your favorite book is, and why. I think it would be cool if we could know each other a little bit better. Sincerely.
Let's be friends.
hug, hug.
Lindsey